Please help, barn drama!!!?

Question

I moved to the barn I'm at now 4 months ago because my old barn had this one woman who caused drama, she would always critique me and my horse very rudely and would tell me he can't jump very high because he has a crooked leg. She even sent me 17 facebook messages in a row telling me everything thats wrong with me and my horse..she made me lose a lot of confidence in my riding so i left that barn in search of a place with friendlier people. I finally came upon the barn I'm at now after months of searching and it's perfect, everyone is always caring and so nice to eachother and we are all like a big family and i just love it. I've gained all my confidence back with an amazing instructor i met too and things couldn't be better! So the problem is, today the lady called the farm and asked to possibly board there, she even told the owner she new me so she knows im here. The owner came up to me and asked me if i knew her and i told him all about how she starts crap. Our barn does absolutely not tolerate drama so i think he might reject her request to come to the barn but if she ends up moving here I have no idea what im going to do...i don't want to be mean and ignore her but I'm not going to be all friendly because of the things she's said to me in the past. How should I handle this situation?

Answer 1

I agree with what the other posters said. Just ignore her as best as you can. If you can, try to come when she's not at the barn. Maybe if she comes in the mornings, you can come later on in the day? Also, try to have friends around when she's around. They'll help you ignore her; it's always easier with friends around. Don't be cold, but you don't have to be friendly either.

As for the facebook thing, I'm not sure as I don't use facebook, but can't you block people? You can do that, or just stop looking at her messages.

As well, don't let her comments get to you. I'm sure your a great rider and your horse is amazing. If you let her critisms get to you, you'll just be doing what she wants you to do. If she says something like, "Your horse can't jump" or something again, just answer with something like, "I'm sure my trainer knows best. She/He wouldn't let him jumper higher than he can manage." Don't be rude, but don't let her walk all over you. Over time, she should stop. BUT MAKE SURE YOU DON'T LET HER SEE IT AFFECT YOU! That's really important.

But honestly, I would just stop stressing about it. It sounds like your BO is pretty nice, and he seems to trust your opinion if he asked you about her. And if he doesn't tolerate drama, he probably will reject her.

Answer 2

That stinks!!! Just be honest with the current barn owner if she asks you your opinion, but don't be rude or disrespectful. Just say "Hey, one of the reasons I left is because the drama that occured at my old barn was mainly because of her and it made my riding experience unpleasant and took the fun out of going to the barn." This doesnt have to be about just you, I'm sure nobody else at the new barn wants any drama either. If she does end up coming, which wouldnt be cool, just do your best to ignore it. Take her advice if you think it would help but don't let her rub you the wrong way. Good Luck!

Answer 3

You need to grow up and be a big girl.



Are you 12? If you're a small child, then talk to your parents about it and ask them to take you to assertiveness classes. Take karate and chop the woman in two.

lol



If you're a teenager, than act like it! Teenagers are known to be moody and rude. That's your job! Take it seriously!!



If you're an adult, then holy cow, are you in for a really bad rest of your life. Because guess what honey bunch, life isn't like a tv sitcom. Everybody doesn't always get along.



Bottom line:



Grow a thick skin or find a very large rock you can live under for the rest of your life.

lol



Second, how did that woman send you a Facebook message?

I only get messages from friends and people I have invited.

So, clearly you love her drama, or you would not have given her permission to write to you.

It's called an "ignore" and a "delete" button.



I wouldn't blame this woman. She's just enjoying life, trying to push your buttons and succeeding.

Why? Because people like you are fun to mess with.

Me? I don't mess with people like you. I'm nice. But I scoff and roll my eyes at people who whine and cry about dumb stuff.



Get a back bone. Grow a thick skin and live your life.

Stop hiding and crawling behind every tree, quivering in fear of stupid people and the dumb things they say.



The new barn isn't yours. You board there. So, if the owner wants this woman there, then that's ok. If you see her again, simply take in a big breath and look her in the eye and say "hey, bee-och! Wassap?"



And give her the finger. Throw her words back in her face. She deserves it. Laugh her off! She's a joke!

Nobody can get under your skin without your permission.

Stop giving her permission.



After that, she'll leave you alone.

IF she doesn't, you can always resort to a karate chop to the nose.

Answer 4

truthfully, she could be waiting to maintain $2 hundred in her bag and not could rigidity. the actuality that somebody has stolen $60 from her now, and that they are keen to offer up loose time for each guy or woman over it, shows they have not got many ethical values. Has your coach instructed the barn that whoever stole this is going to in undemanding terms have a warning, they gained't be punished? Or something like a "no questions asked" form of factor? If no longer, attempt it. the guy who stole it may desire to even have some morals, yet is in basic terms too afraid to return the money now. Giving them a warning and protecting a distinctive eye on them won't do everyone harm. and that i've got no longer had it happen. I journey at smaller barns, we are very close to to a minimum of one yet another and don't pull stuff like that. i do no longer think of there is ever been drama for the time of my instructions the place I journey. i assume i'm fortunate! yet at my pal's barn it happens plenty. She rides at a greater instruct barn, all of us is intense-and-effective and think of each and everything is approximately them, and could reason drama in undemanding terms for entertainment. Who needs that? As for a answer, why no longer lock your luggage? this is undemanding to get a small lock to fasten up your significant zipper the place all your valuables are. it may desire to no longer provide help to open up your bag speedy anymore, in spite of the undeniable fact that this is a pre-warning. Then shop the foremost on your using boots, in a pocket, everywhere you like. you do no longer could fasten each and every zipper, in basic terms the only the place you placed your valuables. Now no you're able to thieve you money, cellular telephones, and so on. stable success!

Answer 5

Tell your instructor/owner of the barn how you feel. However, if she still allows this person to come to the barn, then you will have to get over it. As you get older, you're going to have to deal with people that don't like you or cause problems. All you can do is ignore it and do your own thing. Don't let petty people get to you and your horse.

Answer 6

You've done all you can do. You've answered the barn owner's question and he is now well advised on the matter. Relax and see what happens. Wait until you see the whites of her eyes, if at all and only then decide. I also would block her from any access to you online or whatever as well.

Answer 7

Grow a pair.



Block her on Facebook. Ignore her in person. If you share a tackroom with her, ask the barn owner if you can move your things. If she enters the arena, pack up and leave. If she's in the arena, find somewhere else to ride. Do not speak to her, look at her, or acknowledge her presence. Eventually she will get the hint. Do not talk to other people about her. She is "persona non grata" to you (she does not exist). She'll call you names to other people, saying you're stuck up and "witchy," but it will be worth not having to deal with her. She will get tired of your behavior and hopefully stop bothering with even talking about you.

Answer 8

Tell the owner and Instructor how you feel and that if she comes to this barn and stsrts anything you will move to the old barn.

Answer 9

I would handle it when it happens. If your new place does not tolerate the drama, I don't foresee her moving to your barn. You are panicking before anything bad happens, chill out and focus on you!

Answer 10

I think you handled it very well by telling your current trainer the truth. Stay that way. He probably will not accept her after hearing that, it could lead to a bad reputation. Also, he seems like a genuinely nice person. Good luck, I'm sure everything will work out!