Nobody likes newbies?

Question

I'm a newbie at my barn (and riding generally) and I was told by my instructor that if I want to I can come a few hours before my lessons or even on days when i don't have riding lessons to help at the barn.
So I did...I thought I would learn something new and get to be around horses more (because up until now I couldn't even stay to tack up my horse because we have volunteers and other students that do that) But I didn't learn a thing...
I felt like nobody really wanted me there and that I was just getting in the way of everyone.
Because i'm new to all of this, when I was asked to bring something (a horse or a tool or a brush etc.) and I started asking stuff like where is it , what horse, where to put something etc. they just acted cold and gave me this 'oh fine, I'll get it myself, just don't get in the way' kind of face...
So basically I haven't learned or done anything in these 3 hours that I spent there!
And they (the volunteers and other students...) are all so independent, they can do whatever they want , they know all of the horses, they can go get them, decide when to wash them etc... they don't need anybody's 'ok' for that!! unlike me...I can barely go and pet a horse without a permission!
So all I was doing in those 3 hours was just sit and do nothing!! And it was really annoying to get orders and be told what to do by a 10 year old T_T
And i really wanted to help...
They all seem to get along with each other well and know each other and I'm just in the way:(
It's like when you look for a job and every place you go to, they tell you they want someone with experience...but because nobody won't hire somebody without any experience there's no place to get that experience, you know what I mean?
So I don't know what to do...should I go there again? or is it better not to waste my time and just come for the lessons?
I mean I don't know how long will it take until they treat me like I'm one of them...Maybe never!

Answer 1

Everybody starts as a newbie. I did, you are, everyone at your barn did, George Morris did, every Olympic hopeful did, Pat the Asshat Parelli did, everyone did.



Take your lumps and don't let it scare you off. Ignore the looks, ignore the tempers, ignore all the negative. Scratch that- don't ignore it. Learn from it. Use this experience to become a stronger person, it will come in handy later in life. Also, there is ONE nice person in the barn at the very least. Find that person and latch on to them like glue, and pick their brain for every bit of useful information.



Stick up for yourself if need be too. Lack of knowledge is not an excuse for someone to degrade or intimidate you. If anyone's behavior crosses a line into derogatory, verbally abusive, name-calling or physical intimidation report it to barn management and tell them to kiss your rosy red cheeks. I hope no one in your barn is that immature though.



Also use this as an example of how not to treat others when you are the experienced one and some newbie is looking to you for guidance.



Edit: Don't be turned off if that nice person that knows more than you is younger than you, even by several years. It could be a win-win situation for the both of you. You get a barn friend to help you gain knowledge, they get an older kid to hang out with and look up to that might not have otherwise given them the time of day. Situations like this are how friendships are formed that might not have otherwise and it can be a great thing. My mom just started riding- she is in her mid-50's. Imagine how frustrating it is for her being the new person! And having her daughter correct her the same way she did me when I was young! She cried many a times and wanted to give up a lot in the beginning. Now she is coming along nicely, just bought a second horse and is really discovering herself as a horse person. She thanks me every day for not cutting her slack and making her stick with it. We both couldn't be happier and it did wonders to strengthen our somewhat frail relationship.

Answer 2

I don't mean this offensively, and it will come across that way, but please don't take offense - you probably were kind of in the way. It's not a bad thing, people should have been more considerate.



Perhaps next time you should talk to your instructor about having her finding you a buddy for the time at the barn, or even shadowing her for the day. Heck, that little 10 year old was probably having a great time showing you around. Be sure to thank them and their parents when you see them again.



People can be a little cold and stand offish when they are trying to get something done, this is why I think if you were to have someone you could shadow throughout the day and ask questions without stepping on toes, you'll learn much quicker and won't feel so bad.



And as Maria said, we all started out somewhere. Maybe not in such a public setting, but we all have to learn, and continue to learn throughout the years. Who cares is 17 is too old, a lady at my barn didn't get involved in horses until she was in her 40's.



Be sure the next time you go to the barn (and yes, do go and speak with the instructor, or call ahead of time), introduce yourself, perhaps even explain that you are new, would like to help but need to ask questions to make sure things get done properly. There should be at least one person at the barn whose willing to take you under their wing - even if it is a 10 year old.

Answer 3

Persevere with it, and try your best to be sociable with everyone there.



I work at a riding school, and the whole place relies on helpers basically, if we had no helpers the place would not be able to function.

Often the 'set' helpers can be a bit stand offish and protective over their ranking in the group - or they can just be really busy and a bit arsey as they have a lot to do. Often the 'newbie' can make older helpers feel a bit threatened by the new face, you see it with many animals aswell as people, the one who's already in a set group pushing the new ones around so that they know not to threaten the individual's status within the group and threaten the way they work.



It's not going to happen all at once, but keep going with it. Be sociable, and keep asking questions so eventually you are helpful to them. The helpers will quickly accept you into part of their little crew - and life will become a lot easier.

If you are quiet and don't continue to try and get involved, intentionally or not, the helpers won't have much time for you - yards are busy places and often you do have to hold your own a bit, stand up for yourself and keep asking the questions and keep making sure they know you're there and regardless of first impressions i'm sure they're really a lovely bunch.

Answer 4

unfortunately, when it comes to animals, you really have to climb your way up the ladder. It is all about hierarchy. It's just how it works. I have been to MANY barns to help out. All of them were show barns, mostly Arabians and Saddlebreds. I always had to ask where certain horses were when they said, "go grab (so and so)." Luckily, they had a stall map on the wall by the crossties. That made it really helpful. But sometimes, during the big shows, they would switch the horses around and forget to change the stall map. I would have to ask again where certain horses were. Sometimes, I think they would get frustrated, but if they wanted something done by me, they would have to give me the details of where things are.



If you have time before you want to work around the barn, get yourself familiar with your surroundings. Figure out where the tack is, where the brushes are, where the horses are. If you want, you can ask the instructor to put up a dry erase board so you can map out the stalls. I would still take lessons there, and when they see you ride for a bit, they will start treating you like part of the barn.



So yes, this does happen. It's a harsh world in the horse industry. You cant get anywhere without a bit of a "beating" from your peers. You will learn how to deal with it all, trust me. I have been in and out of show barns, and I had to start from scratch at every one, no matter how good I was at riding and grooming, I always had to prove myself by starting on the old horses and looking at the stall map for directions.

Answer 5

Go to the library or look online for anything and everything you can find to help out beginner riders. There are some great books for beginners to read and it really teaches you a lot about breeds, colours, grooming supplies and how to guides, tack and even the basics and theories on your position and some riding skills.

I know that anything you read can't really be backed up until you've been able to do it, but it might help you understand what people are asking a lot more.

If you can, next time you go you should try and find someone that can show you around where things are and introduce you to all the horses. Write everything down and write down descriptions on what horse is what and memorise it.

Don't only go for lessons. A lot of what most people learn is picked up in chorses around the barn.

Answer 6

I'd find a new place to ride. I mean, not being able to go get your horse and tack it up? Thats dumb. I love brushing my school horse and tacking him up before I ride, and I love to rinse him off when I'm done. At my barn we do have some girls that are there all the time and hang out together and know all the horses, etc., but you have to be able to do stuff on your own or you won't learn. Maybe you should ask if you can groom and tack your horse up yourself before you ride and they will give you some space and independence. When they start tacking up your horse just say, "I can tack him/her up" or, "I can do that." And if they ask you to get a horse or a tool and they say that will do it themself just say, "If you tell me where it is I can do it," in a polite way. Just ignore them and do what you came there to do. Everyone has to start somewhere. Try watching some videos on youtube about the stuff you want to learn more about. Thats what I did and there are some good videos on there about how to tack up your horse and stuff.

Answer 7

Just keep going, keep hanging around, and eventually you won't be the "newbie" anymore! I'm not sure how long it will take to get them to accept you. Try starting up some conversations, or maybe even bribe them by bringing cold drinks or cookies! Try to get friendly with one other person, and ask if you can shadow them while they work. That way, none of the responsibility is on you for now, but you will still learn a lot by watching that person.

Answer 8

i've gone through that same experience, and it's not a fun one......i would suggest doing some research (get a few horse books that kind of thing), also the more time you spend at the barn the more people are going to get used to you being there. it will take some time but once the people there start to realize you are there to help and you''re trying your best they will lighten up. don't be afraid to ask questions because that's what is going to help you learn...things will get better, just give it some time :)

Answer 9

Honey don't give up this easy. They could be jealous of your beauty or figure. this used to be my problem! But just dig in & become the BEST-Person there. don't be rude, be above that. always smile even if you are hurting on the inside. give yourself time & soon the leader of the snobs will be coming to YOU for answers. the key here is Knowledge. Privately ask your Instructor if you can care for the horse that you are most starting to connect to & go from there. read, study practice & go on line all you need to. but just gather that Knowledge. Soon you will be the 'go to girl' & when another newbie comes along, well teach them lessons on Personality! Smile

Answer 10

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Answer 11

why was you sat down?



i don't know how old you are but my 13 yr old will say she is coming to help me. then when i ask her to do something she pulls this face like "why should i" i will find my self thinking why bother asking.



the next time you go before you start go to someone who looks like they have been there a while. say the last time i came i didn't know where everything was and didn't feel like i was much help. would you be able to show me around and show me a few jobs that i can do so i feel help-full?

you will more than likely find she will say of course i can.

Answer 12

Find someone who looks friendlier and ask them, and hopefully they'll help. If not, you could ask about a stable management day that could help you when you help out. If neither of these work/are possible, talk to your instructor about it. She should be able to help you or find someone who will help you. You should help out and you should learn stuff, so keep going and if no one will help you or let you do anything just talk to your instructor. Good luck (: x

Answer 13

everyone starts there. in my stable, they never let beginners tack up either. so go and help as much as you can and when one of them gives you a smarta$$ look, be like "look, i know you dont want me here, and i know you think im a retard, but i love horses, and im not leaving, b*tch!" or something along that line. well, thats what i would say.

Answer 14

Try your best!!!

study more about horses so you wont feel left out. surprise them all

and don't be shy, there has to be at least one person who is similar to you and you can get along with